How to conquer stress and emerge with peace and happiness

How many times have you heard people saying: my job sucks; I am worth nothing; nobody loves me; why does this happen with me only; I have too much work load, I have no time for family; no one understands me..? many times, isn't it?
Emotional energies follow a snowball effect. When someone gives us a smile, we naturally tend to smile back, we look at someone else with smile and that person smiles. When someone shares a sad instance with us like the loss of someone very close, our mind starts searching for similar examples from our own lives, and we reciprocate with how it felt when we experienced a similar loss and become sad. This can specially be seen in corridor discussions in office environment- if one expresses that his/her efforts are not recognised, others also start feeling and expressing the same. If one employee mentions about existing bias or work overload, other also starts feeling the same.

The rule of 'opposites attract' does not hold true for energy and our environment...
Negative energy attracts more negative thoughts and builds further negative energy. So when things seem so wrong, it is worth a try to stop all negative and create positive energy around. If there is too much of negative energy build up, it may take some time, but it is possible.
So how do you start?  Well, its simple. Think of something good about the same environment that is bothering you (You can always find something positive in everything, there is nothing absolutely negative), and talk about it loud. If there is a lot of negative around, the response will start with agreement but turn towards negative. e.g. you maybe upset in office about workload, low salaries, bias, your relationship with your boss or anything but you may feel that the colour of the office walls is bright and vibrant and it helps in making it look so great, you say that to those around you. They may say 'yes, thats right, but you know, that great look is no use with such horrible people'. Such is the power of negative energy that it will try to bring the conversation back to the negative. It will be important for you to keep bringing the conversation back to positive, as it moves from positive to negative. Also, it will be important to avoid talking about the negative aspects.

This can be applied in all spheres of our life. As we practice it more and more, we will see our life change positively and happiness filling in our life instead of stress and anxiety. 

happiness is in our hands

If we wait for happiness we wait forever. If we start being happy, we are happy always.
Everything and every being has a darker side and a bright one. There are moments that bring us happiness and there are moments that bring sorrow. We remember what we choose to store in our memory bank. If we feel life has been cruel to us, probably the fact is that we are being cruel to ourselves by storing all the negative moments in our memories.

The key to happiness is to realise the energies we generate. Negative energies attract negative energies and positive ones bring more positive energies. We see a few families which are completely deprived of peace and harmony. There are fights all the time. Looking deeper into the issues, we find there are no issues at all. There are no reasons to fight still, the whole atmosphere is scary. Small matters which are not 'matters' at all are kept as hurt egos and repeated time and again. Nobody is happy although everybody could be happy. It begins with issueless complains and grudges but with more and more negative energies accumulating, things actually start taking a bad turn. Life becomes a nightmare, people fall sick, business suffers, friends turn into enemies and it simply goes on. We start blaming our destiny without realising that we are responsible for where we are. God has given all of us a brain to think, an ability to laugh, tears to cry and let go the sorrow. Half the times we are sad and crying is because of an expected bad time in future. While we wait for a happy moment to make us happy, we always cry in advance and continue crying when a sad moment really strikes. We could be much more happier if we reversed this.
If we start smiling on a hope that future will bring happiness, and wait for the sad times to really strike before we start crying, we would all be happy and smiling 90% of our life time.

God's clock always strikes on time

I read this somewhere- "Dont run ahead of God. Let Him direct your steps. He has plans and He has time. God's clock is never early nor late. It always strikes on time. Have faith".

When we have faith in God, our worries begin to vanish. We dont have any more complains from life or from others, because we know there is a right time for everything. If God answers your prayers, He is increasing your faith, if He delays, He is increasing your patience. If He does not answer, He knows there is a better answer ahead.

Shah Raahe Aam se paaband hote hain qadam, Uss taraf se chal jahan se raasta jaata na ho

We always have two options in life. The easier one is to follow others blindly and walk the tested way. The other option is to to pave a new path and be a leader for the rest to follow. Whether to get lost in crowd or to establish our own identity is in our own hands. As Einstein once said "I am thankful to all those who said 'No'. It is because of them, I did it myself," when we set on a new path hurdles are bound to come. What is important here, is to be clear on where will this new path lead to. Not every new path is a better path, so it is important to think twice before treading in a new direction.

When the biggest planner plans...

Very often our future is not what we had planned for. Many who can’t make it through competitions go into deep depression to the extent of taking extreme steps like committing suicide? Even small school going students have a tremendous pressure to perform. Despite all efforts, if they don’t get through, it is not a failure. As my father often says, ‘not getting through something is not a failure. Failure is when you give up’.

If internationally renowned author and motivational guru Shiv Khera had given up when he failed in his exams in tenth standard or when he was struggling to succeed as an executive in many organisations in USA and Canada, he would never have reached where he is today.

We must make our best efforts but if things still don’t go as we plan, it is an indication that some one else is planning for us… And nothing can go wrong when the biggest Planner plans… Certain people are selected by Almighty to do something different. When even the best of human plans seem to be failing we need to look up for the hints and the signals… Maybe we are selected for things way beyond our imagination… He can see what we can not, and we have to follow His wish… It maybe some times difficult to see what He wants us to do, but a serious thought or observation often shows us the path. The signals may be instant or delayed depending on when He wants certain things to happen in our lives, but He loves all his creation and chooses the best path for us.
So, when the biggest planner plans, we just have to follow His signals and wait for the miracles He has planned for us...

The land of Tuk tuks, Moto Dhup and Pagodas- Cambodia

It was a nice sunny morning in Phom Penh. I took a cab for Hotel Cambodiana from outside the airport for 9 dollars. The Cab driver could understand my English much better than I could understand his Khmer. Still he was trying his best to show me all the places with names, so difficult to pronounce. Within 30 minutes I was inside the Hotel where our workshop was scheduled to be held. There was something about the place that made me feel good- feel so close to nature.

My first encounter with Moto Dhups
After having relaxed in Hotel for some time I thought of walking to nearby market and find a way to call home and inform about my well being. I had not even reached the gate of Hotel when I saw people with mopeds of very old model, waving at me. I had heard about the hiring of motor bikes and was wondering what if some beautiful lady from Cambodia comes to Delhi and hires a motor bike (I fail to fathom what would be the consequences). It did not take me long to understand that these were the drivers of Moto Dhups. There were many Three wheelers also (tuk tuk) but I preferred Motto Dhup. I had done a bit of research before going to Cambodia, so I knew the names of nearby market places. I asked one of the Moto Dhup guys for going upto Central market. He said 1 dollar but gave up after my persistent bargaining. We finally settled for 2000 Riel, which is half dollar.

A trip through the age of homo erectus
The market had a lot of stuff that I wanted to buy. We used more of sign language and key words than any sentences or grammar to communicate. And when all the languages and gestures failed, there was something that worked- a spontaneous smile from both the sides on the inability to communicate. The smile motivated both the parties to try again, and most of the times we could finally convey the messages. I started thinking of our ancestors millions of years ago, when there was no language, no words and still things worked.

My visit was very short but I liked the place and the warm hearted people.

Lesotho- a cursed paradise with a ray of hope

The trip from Johannesburg to Lesotho was in a very small aircraft with only ten rows. We were going for a training on 'vulnerability and capacity assessment'. As the plane started descending I was lost in the beauty of the place- beautiful mountains and rivers- was it a paradise?
From Airport to Hotel Mount Maluti, it took us around 90 minutes to reach the town centre of Mohale's Hoek where this hotel is located. I was thoroughly impressed- everything seemed so perfect. Our visits to the villages in Maseru unvieled the horrifying truths hidden behind the scenic beauty. The paradise was cursed with poverty, crime and something they did not want to talk about- HIV and AIDS. One village of population 300 had 35 orphan headed houses. The death rates were alarming and I along with other assessment team members were trying to find ways and means of reaching to the root cause of deaths. We tried a number of Participatory appraisal tools and one tool- historical visualisation and projection served the purpose. The visualisation chart showed a trend of increasing HIV but when I asked about future projections, the answer was that ten years from now there would be NO HIV. I was completely shaken by the explanation for such projection- 'no one would be alive, so no HIV in this village'.
It echoed in my ears for a long time. I knew the situation was grim, but was there no hope...?
We finished our exercise with them and the moment they got up, they celebrated having completed one exercise by singing and dancing on their local folk songs. I was also taught the dance steps and made to join. Their confidence, cheerfulness and smile reinforced the hope and a determination to improve the situation.

I returned to India but a project was started based on findings of the assessment and I am sure I will visit them some day and thank them for proving that as long as there is life, there is a hope.